Hello people, surprised huh? Thought I was brutally murdered by a psychotic cookie monster? aha! Not even close. I know ave been silent for long and I should probably make up an excuse about how I was so busy, I couldn't even get time... blah blah blah no, I was just to lazy to give a f**k.

aaaaah before I go on, happy new year. A whole 365 days ( -14) to fuck up your life some more. We both know you"ll break all those resolutions you made, New year New me stuff, no, you are still the same old you doing the same old shyt. Look on the brighter since though, you can do it better now. A whole new year to f**k things up with a little more pizazz!

so 2014, the big Two Oh One Four, I'm really hoping for the apocalypse to come this year, we all just need to die and rid this earth of filth and sin. I know I'm not the only one rooting for the end of the world. Just hope it'll be after Arsenal win the league and Germany win the world cup ( I have the freedom to dream).

what to expect this year? well I have a feeling this is going to be one great year. maybe I'll get off my ass and do some thing productive with my life probably not. hope I inspire other lazy ass people to do the same.
Pardon my language I am testing out the purpose profanity in my grammar and I have to say I have never been more satisfied.

Disclaimer: Don't take this blog too seriously, its written by a schizophrenic off her meds for f**ks sake. She probably doesn't even know why shes writing this.
and I leave you with a quote from " The Rape of Lucrece" William Shakespeare; Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.

How to survive a horror movie

After extensive research on horrific situations (watching a trillion horror movies) ave come up with a few tips to help you survive incase you find yourself in such a situation.
First we'll grade the situation. Is it
a) Supernatural ie Is a psychotic ghost trying to take your soul? Crazy mother from the past looking for her kid? Haunted house?

 b) A serial killer /escaped convict /crazy neighbour (thats the worst) got into your house?
c) Natural disaster
d) Cat trying to kill you

e) Zombie apocalypse
The last two are hopeless ,I suggest you pray for your soul cause you ain't got no chance against a death crazed cat.
Incase of a zombie invasion and you're a terrible runner I suggest you pray for your soul then shoot yourself in the head.
So tips on how to make it through in one piece.
1. Make sure you're not alone if you are ; I suggest you pray for your soul cause you're doomed.
2. Hide , find a good hiding spot. Unless you're in a supernatural situation then I suggest you pray for you soul cause you're f**ked. [ if your up against a ghost try reasoning with it ,if that doesn't work try cookies ,ghosts like cookies]

3. Get something to defend yourself with nothing sharp cause it might be used against you. Maybe a frying pan or bat .

4. Have a cell phone . This depends on how you usually treat your phone. Always have it fully charged and on you at all times.
5. Hope you're a good runner ,cause if you cant run ;I suggest you pray for your soul cause you're  done for.
These are my four essential tips to surviving through any horror situation. * they are probably c**p and you'll still die anyway .* goodluck though.

The Guide To Scare Free Stalking

Stalking as defined by wiki is unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual or group towards another person.
Stalking from some random dictionary; to follow or observe (a person) persistently, especially out of obsession or derangement.
Stalking according to me ,paying special attention to someone without them necessarily being aware of it.

Stalking at times tends to get creepy and scares the person your stalking even though unintentional. so am gonna give you the guide to healthy and scare free stalking.

1. If you have decided to follow this path then you might need a really good friend to talk to about your activities so they can slap you back into your senses in-case you get out of line (this will happen alot).

2. If your going to use social media DO NOT use your real account ,create another account ,possibly female if you're a guy and vice versa for ladies. This account will not be used for anything else other than the initially intended purpose.( so don't go posting photos or tagging friends to your status).

3. If you are going to text them don't get creepy ,ask bought something random like whether s/he's got the assignment or memo that you "missed". Don't tell him/her how nice they looked or how you love their colonge. Then ask about their day ,if they don't feel like answering ,don't pressure them. Repeat this ONCE a week.
4. DO NOT “accidentally” bump into them all the time ,twice a day is good enough. don't make it a habit ,they'll notice.
5. DO NOT follow them around ,trust me ,they'll notice. Find out where they are going instead and be there before them so that it'll look incidental.

6. DO NOT go peeping through their windows at night (you are better than that) unless you are sure you wont get caught ,RESTRAIN YOURSELF or you'll end up in a cell.
7. If they are doing something that requires a lot of work ,offer to help out but don't make it a habit. When your done go back to what you were doing before
8. if you find yourself in a conversation with them ,be careful not to mention anything from your "nightly activities". Do not speak unless spoken to ,only respond to questions asked .if you feel you might let something slip ,make up an excuse and leave.
9. DO NOT give them gifts unless the occasion requires it. Make sure the gift is very plain. Don't go giving them en-scribed jewelery or matching bracelets .

10. DO NOT get caught with photos of them or with their missing items.
Stalking is a very serious crime in most countries, especially if your intentions are to scare or harm the person. If you feel that you are at a point where you cant control yourself ,please seek help.
If you really care about the person ,approach them and be honest ,if they reject you accept it and move on.

RojaThat: Music Madness :Ghetto Dreaming-Odinareh Bingwa

RojaThat: Music Madness :Ghetto Dreaming-Odinareh Bingwa: Odinareh Bingwa: this young man demonstrates in this song that one can combine all the elements of true life experiences and lyrical ing...

bitch slapping (must be getting better at this)

• According to some dictionary bitch slap is :(Slang) to strike (someone) with one's open hand. 

• According to wiktionary bitch slap is : (slang, vulgar, transitive) To slap someone powerfully in the face, meant to assert dominance or control over the receiver; to deliver a bitch slap to. 

• According to me  bitch slap : to slap some sense into a someone . therefore bitch slapping is the act of slapping some sense into idiotic people. 

• ''bitch'' can refer to either men or women.

• A bitch slap is delivered with a flourish ,nonetheless, the blow is firm and may involve an open forhand or backhand.

HOW TO BITCH SLAP

1. Pull your arm back and down like your about to swing a bat. 
2. Open your hand as if your about to high five someone. 
3. Swing your hand targeting the cheek on the same side as your raised hand
4. Enjoy the moment of astonishment and the pain on their face.
5. Move a couple of steps back as a bitch slap is often replied by a bitch slap.

REASONS TO BITCH SLAP

1. When they wont stop complaining about the same stuff yet they do nothing about it. slap some shut your mouth into them

2. When they wont stop nagging you about stupid shit . slap that bitch

3. They ate the last piece of cake that you'd be saving for the last three days? hell yah! slap that bitch

4. When they say you look fat. wtf! slap a bitch

5. They just called your best friend something really mean? please slap that bitch

6. When they are all up in your business and poking their noses where they don't belong. slap the shyt out of that bitch

7. When your trying to watch the game on telly and they wont shut up. do me the honor of slapping that bitch

8. Spilled your drink and they dont apologize? you know what to do

9.When they go into panic mode. it is medically acceptable to slap the bitch back to her senses

10. When you have both agreed to a slap off or a slap-a-thon. may the best bitch win.

I aint getting any better at this

Hey everyone ,so JO thats (J and O she hates it wen people call her JO) and KT were mad at me coz I forgot to mention them last week. So say hi to JO and KT everyone. JO ( who is giving me some weird look) is such an attention seeker but the funniest thing is that KT and I are her only friends :-> (cling much). Still she is the sweetest person I know , a lil' crazy but sweet. KT is the sane one (more like pain in the ass) but we love him. Keeps us out of trouble like that time JO and I stole (oops meant borrowed ) Mama Boi's rabbits :-D. Damn! Was that mama mad. But KT managed to return them without us getting into trouble. We do everything together and I mean EVERYTHING.

 Sometimes its kind of irritating but I don't know what I'd do without them. they have this terrible habit of hiding whenever somene else is around so most of the time people think am talking to myself. So thats all about KT and JO now hopefully they'll stop nagging.

well, ave been seeing shocking stuff in the news lately. it involves goats ,cows and dogs. i happen to have a couple of theories as to why there has been a rise in the rate of bestiality. (yes its bestiality and not beastiality)
1. Curiosity?
    Yes ,am going to blame it on curiosity . we all know what it did to
 the cat. so a guy looks at his cow and thinks damn! I wonder how it feels to ______ a cow ,why not try it out? next time don't get caught genius.

2.Competition /fame
    so some guy heard that the guys from the county that shall not be named are in the news for ______ cows. we can do that too. instant fame!
poor cows caught in between the county rivalry.

3.Animals have become more humane than people.
   its true dogs adopting Monkeys and saving babies while people are killing each other for no good reason. guess guys are deciding they'd rather just date a dog than people.

4.People have just gone crazy AF and they are taking out on the poor animals
 that basically explains itself. The world has gone mad.

but people please leave the animals alone. if no one wants you why do you think an poor animal would?

Blog one? ( couldn't think of a title)

This blog was started for two reasons
1. To help a certain schizophrenic differentiate between what is real and what's only in her head.
2. To help people understand her world
3. (yeah ,I know I said two ,its a free world) she has no one else to talk to.

Never knew starting a blog was so easy ,the hard part is what to write. so am gonna tell you about my day which wasn't really that great to begin with but considering its a Monday I give it a C+. I woke up late which I rarely do actually it happens alot but I blame my alarm which mysteriously lost its batteries (it tends to do that alot on Mondays). So I wasn't sure what was more important getting dressed or brushing my teeth so I decided to multi-task (bad idea) I ended up having to take another shower for reasons which include toothpaste in my hair and lotion in my mouth ,which in turn meant I was extremely late for class . when I finally made it through dressing and breakfast which I had to miss (damn! Now am hungry) and made it to school an hour late only to find that my classes for that day were canceled and no one bothered to tell me. spent the rest of the day watching the Disney channel , but I think I saw a bat in my neighbor's house ,he's the creepy guy that no one has really ever met but that another story and SHAKE IT UP is on now .so bye.h