DAUGHTERS OF EVE BLEED

I believe that the most dangerous thing to be in this nation as of today, is a member of the female gender. Beaten, stripped and even raped. Age doesn't even seem to matter . In the last month alone news have been filled with stories of 80 year old women being raped ,rape in a public vehicle and most recently a 3 year old by her own uncles??!!. Then the cases of women being stripped seem to have become a competition on who will make the news today. Its a nation gone mad on women. Men who have forgotten they were brought into this world by a woman.I'm tired of people giving the excuse that ladies a dressing indecently these days.yes, it is true, but why strip her? shouldn't the logical solution be to cover her up? isn't this just an excuse for men to do as they please ? It's a shame that we have let animals hide behind this excuse and strip our daughters of their dignity. I believe that the only answer is for the people behind this to look within them and decide if they'd rather be animals than human beings.

This horrors have made me so paranoid I have turned into a trained sleuth.I actually
1.I carry a nail file, [sharp enough to stab into someones carotid artery][plus they're pretty handy at eye stabbing]
2. a cable [just in case I have to strangle someone].
3.sachets of chilli powder[excellent blinding tool, just rip and throw] also came across this recipe for pepper spray on twitter.

 4. and finally big ass scarf [just in case it gets that far]. 
one thing I'm sure of is that if anyone tries to lay their hand on me, I wont go down without a bloody fight.  if all else fails ,I kick, bite, scratch and poke.

I commute to school 5 days a week, each day I use 4 public vehicles ie. matatus, to and fro, that's 20 vehicles each school week. before I board a matatu I ensure 
1. there atleast 3 other women in that vehicle
2. there no more than 3 men sitted within arm length of each other around the seat available
3. I sit next to the door 
4. and finally I do a quick calculation of defense capability from my seat.
I mean, doing this 20 times a week is really tiring shit And finding a matatu with these specifications? you can guess I'm usually late half the time.
I personally know that I dress decently and even sometimes a little boyishly but I am an extremely curvy lady,  I wear jeans and tees and still get catcalls. what the hell am I supposed to do? order some sack clothes? since all these shenanigans started, I can barely leave the house without feeling like a Jew in 1941 Nazi Germany. its no wonder this is what is happening outside the country,

I don't even blame them. I wouldn't advice anyone to visit this country either , save me the uzalendo speech please. I am ashamed of what this country has turned into.now, I have to go get more chilli powder as I accidentally used the last bunch I had with my lunch.

AM I A COWARD?

Does it make me a coward?
That each morning I lay in bed
trying to avoid reality, eyes closed
hoping I just imagined it
and that I'm already gone

Does it make me a coward?
That I'd rather be alone
than to invest myself in someone
and later have them gone
Does it make me a coward?
That I hide behind my words
I'd rather write it down
than say it out loud
away from that big crowd
Does it make me a coward?
To walk away before I'm in to deep
To keep myself bottled up, all neat
To hide behind a mask, fun and carefree
To swallow my pain and plaster that face
Does it make me a coward?
That life scares me more than death
That love I turn into burning rage
That joy I love to hate
That pain makes me feel great
Does it make me a coward?
To watch from a far
afraid to reveal who I am
running from what is real
hidding behind the words

CHILLING BREEZE

Have you ever felt it
the cold dark abyss
the freezing hand chocking your throat
the sharp blade against your neck
pressing so hard against your vein
your to scared to swallow
your scream dies in your larynx
your whole body goes numb.

When you see the face of death
he looks straight in your soul
he sees all your worsr fears
all your deepest secrets
you can't run from him
his gaze is entracing
his icy cold hands dig into your ribcage
pushes past your ribs, kicking the air out of your lungs
he grips your heart
and squeezes
hard
you feel yourself let go
your soul rises out of your lifeless cold corpse
only to be devoured by death

DARKNESS

As darkness comes
the moon beckons
he drags me from my sheets
to have me dance at his feet.

Enchanting darkness
reaching out of the madness
beauty of the blackness
I felt the cold caress
In his arms I am alive
dark black calling eyes
he spreads his wings
and off into my darkest dreams
I am a creature of the night
I get my strength from his light
I live for these nightly flights
into the forbidden delights

It burns from the pit of my stomach
a raging fire looking for escape
for days, weeks, years ave held it back
but what the point if I have nothing to lose
should I let it out and watch cities burn
take a front seat so I don't miss the fun
cause I ask
what is good without bad
how can we find light without the dark
don't we only know of heaven because we fear hell
we fight for salvation because there's evil
as the time draws closer
he grows stronger
I will have to choose
salvation or doom

IF'S

If I said no, would you still go
if I prayed, would it make amends
if I begged, would you give me another chance
if I changed , would you still let it end

if only I was that girl
the one that gave a fuck
if only I was the type
that believed in love
if only you could see
how I wish this would end
If's? Are questions I dont ask
I dive in, to live or to drown
I dont believe, in failure and crushed dreams
I rise up, and proceed along my path.

THE FEELS

When words hide behind the feels
I can't find the strength I need
to bring them forth into the light
to get past this mental fight
of what ifs and should nots
my mind full of colliding thoughts
but what's the point of it all
Cause no one ever wants to fall
tired of picking up the pieces
so I tuck in the words into the feels