DROWNING IN DARKNESS

Drowning in darkness

I can feel myself slipping away
nothing I try can keep it a bay
I fall deeper into this abyss
I wish I could say it is out of bliss

I'm dragged deeper than ave ever been
the darkness makes it hard for me to breath
for a light into my soul is all I want to see
but I have nothing left underneath

nights of slumber are a myth
can't remember the last time I slept a wink
It comes for me everytime I blink
my soul, deeper it sinks

I grope for something to hold
for I lost my anchor a while ago
he couldn't take it anymore
that my mind had become its abode

WOULD YOU

Would you

If I was a little prettier
If I was a little skinnier
If I was a little funnier
would you look at me the way you look at her

If I could sing a little better
If I could dance a little better
If I could speak a little clearer
would you smile at me like you smile at her

what if I had fancy clothes
pretty shoes
bouncy hair
would you hold me the way you hold her

what if I had blue eyes
pretty lips
perfect skin
would you kiss me the way you kiss her

LETTING GO

Letting go

Tired of fighting with these memories
but I'm not ready to let go
Never gonna say goodbye
never gonna walk away

your words cut through me
like daggers with no remorse
is it out out of spite
maybe plain disgust

you keep pushing
as I struggle to get back in
seems like a futile mission
cause you've left me in oblivion

My hand is slipping
my fingers are numb
from holding on to tight
tempted to let go

I'd rather go numb
than go without you
it's never too late
until there's nothing left

BIND ME

Bind me

I saw you coming at the corner of my eye
you pounced so fast I had no chance
I tried to fight back but my will failed me
pleas and struggles were futile

you held me down by my neck
tied my wrists behind my head
feet bruised till they bleed
the pain seemed to have no end

The darkness turned me blind
The silence made me lose my mind
Days, weeks? I lost count
an abyss of dead hopes

What was the reason for your spite
Did I leave you distraught
was it an act of revenge
did I deserve what came my way

what was my crime
did I deserve to die
does it make you smile
to know that I'm gone

I'M I DEAD?

 I'm I dead?

I heard our song on the radio
the one we used to sing to
about playing God.
Did you hear it too?
Did you think of me?
Or I'm I dead to you
have you already forgotten me
was it that easy?
I'm I just a terrible memory now
a smudge on your clean canvas

Do you think of me anymore
of what we could have been
all the things we did
some stupid some sweet
answer me,
I'm I dead?

I DONT KNOW

I don't know

You know that song
the one that goes
everything you wanted and more
was I?
I don't know

who gave up first
was it me
was it you
does it even matter
I don't know

ave stopped waiting
gave up hoping
done crying
well, almost
I don't know

ave been alone
most of my life you know
this should be easy
shouldn't it
I don't know

Never had anyone to talk to
atleast that changed for a few
back to square one huh?
Funny isn't it
I don't know

too many questions
cant find answers
maybe I should stop asking
should I?
I don't even know

LAST LETTER SHE WROTE

it has become embarrassing when somebody asks for a place they can read some of my works of word and all I can give in response is my tattering notebook. so ave decided to sneak  them in here as well.

Last Letter she wrote

 

Sorry can't fix this
it can't take back what ave done
I can only lie here and weep
destroyed the only good thing I had
ductape can fix anything I heard
can we try it?
Every second that ticks away
I feel my self slowly die
your words cut deep into my veins

Oh my God I'm insane
at every turn I see your face
everything reminds me of you
even the water and the stupid dew
I remember your soothing embraces
and lingering kisses
and your smile
Oh Lord your smile
Monalisa would turn green with envy.
Your heart, so big it saw no fault
the world brightens at your waking
okay, maybe I exaggerated

My hands are stained by your blood
of the times I stuck my dagger into your heart.
I mourn not my broken heart
but my soul that lost its place
it weeps at every waking
and cries out your name
hoping you'll comeback
and hold it one last time

ave heard it a million times
if I could turn back the hands of time
blah blah blah blah
I can't
so I'll watch you from the shadows
like ave always done
Hope for one last kiss, embrace or even just a touch
forbidden as it is.
It's all I can do. Hope